The priest in this ceremony need not be formally trained as a Hindu priest. He or she should be familiar with Hindu weddings and comfortable acting as a master of ceremonies, guiding the participants through their parts and explaining the meaning of the service to the audience. It's okay if the priest keeps the script in hand during the ceremony.

Hindu weddings are supposed to take place outside, on the earth, under a canopy known as a mandap. If that's not possible, you can build a mandap inside and pretend you're outdoors. Seating under the mandap can be on the ground (carpets or mats would be a good idea) or on chairs.

Front and center under the mandap is the sacred fire. The fire can be small and confined to a brazier or dish for safety.

The groom's party is supposed to arrive at the wedding spot in a procession, so it's good to have a convenient assembly location nearby.

Props

- Coconut

- Garlands to be exchanged by bride and groom

- Rings to be exchanged by bride and groom

- Wedding necklace (mangalsutra)

- Gift from groom to bride's brother

- Gift from bride's mother to groom

- Sacred fire

- Sacred rope (varamala), tied in a loop large enough to go easily around bride and groom

- Pots of water for washing hands and feet

- Kumkum or red paste applied to forehead

- Rice

- Flowers

Traditionally, the bride wears a red or red and white sari. The sari should be draped modestly over her hair (the stuff that grows on the top of your head) . The groom wears a kafni (long shirt extending to the knees) with pijamo (leggings) or dhoti (sort of an overgrown loincloth). The groom might also wear a turban.

Of course, in an adapted ceremony like this one great liberties can be taken with wardrobe. One rule which shouldn't be broken is that anyone who enters the mandap or wedding canopy must have on sandals or slip-on shoees which can be easily removed (no shoes in the mandap!). In addition, it's a good idea to avoid much black.

One feature of the bride's wardrobe which has become popular abroad is the use of henna or mehndi to decorate her hands and feet. It's said that you can tell how well a new bride is being treated by her in-laws from how long it takes for the mehndi to wear off. Mehndi treatments are increasingly available in salons or you can get mehndi mix at any Indian grocery store for a do-it-yourself job. (But be sure to practice on paper first! Mehndi doesn't wash off.)

- The couple, who had been sitting facing one another, now sit down side by side. Bride's father puts bride's hand in groom's.

- Song or musical performance. (Traditionally this is the time to sing a mangalashtak, a poem composed specially for the occasion.)

- Bride cups her hands and places them in groom's cupped hands. Bride's brother puts rice in bride's hands. Together bride and groom pour the mixture into the fire.

- Bride and groom walk around the fire four times, alternating in who leads. Priest says: Om Svaha! With the first turn, we pray for happiness in the union of the couple. Om Svaha! With the second turn, we pray for the long life of the couple. Om Svaha! With the third turn, we pray for the healthy life of the couple. Om Svaha! With the fourth turn, we pray for the happiness and health of the couple.

- The bride and groom sit down. (Here's a fun part: whoever sits down first will be the boss in the marriage!) Groom presents a gift to the bride's brother.

- Priest says: Now is the time to confirm the marriage with the seven final steps. Bride and groom rise and prepare to take seven steps. Priest continues: I ask you, (bride) and (groom), to concentrate upon these seven vows as you take the seven steps: - May the couple be blessed with an abundance of food.

- May the couple be strong and complement one another.

- May the couple be blessed with prosperity.

- May the couple be eternally happy.

- May the couple be blessed with children. Idea: one "blended family" we know of changed this to "May the couple be blessed with obedient children." - May the couple live in perfect harmony.

- May (bride) and (groom) always be the best of friends.

- Optional step to shock the traditional Hindus: bride and groom steal a kiss!

- Groom's party walks in a procession to ceremony location. (For extra credit, groom rides on a horse or better yet an elephant!) Groom is received by bride's mother who applies kumkum to his forehead. Groom bows to bride's mother and gives her coconut.

- Bride's parents escort groom and best man to the mandap. Groom's party is seated nearby.

- After groom is in position in the mandap, bride comes out carrying groom's garland, escorted by maternal uncle, optionally preceded by flower girls.

- Priest says: We have come together to wed (bride), daughter of (bride's parents), to (groom), son of (groom's parents). Today they build together the foundation of their marriage (or nuptials) upon the earth, in the presence of the sacred fire and the radiant sun, among their family and friends.

- Bride and groom are seated facing one another under the mandap. Chorus sings the slokas: - Invocation to Lord Ganesha: Vignesh varaia varadaia sukhapriyaya.

- Invocation to Saraswati: Yakundendutusharahara dhawala.

- Prayer for harmony: Om sahana vavatu.

- Bride garlands groom. Groom garlands bride.

- Reading #1. - Bride's parents wash bride's and groom's hands and feet, apply kumkum and give flowers. (Bride's mother does this to bride, bride's father to groom.)

- Bride's parents address audience: I, (name), son/daughter of (grandparents' names), approve the wedding of my daughter, (bride's name), to (groom's name).

- Groom says: I, (groom's name), take you, (bride's name), into my heart as my wife. Bride says: I, (bride's name), take you, (groom's name), into my heart as my husband.

- Priest says: A circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth and the universe. It is a symbol of holiness and of perfection and of peace. In these rings it is the symbol of unity, in which your lives are now joined in one unbroken circle, in which, wherever you go, you will always return to one another and to your togetherness. Bride and groom exchange rings.

- Reading #2.

- Chorus sings the sloka:

- Blessing for Everlasting Love: Advaitam. .as bride and groom bow to all their seniors in both parties in rough order according to age (eldest first).

- Adjourn to refreshments and photo ops. Mob scene ensues!

Appendix: FAQ for guests at a Hindu wedding

Q: I've been invited to a Hindu wedding. What should I wear?

A: Wear what you would wear to a non-Indian wedding. The only clothing taboo to be aware of is that you must take your shoes off to enter a temple or the wedding canopy, so be prepared to leave them at the door. Do try to make some allowances for comfort -- it's not uncommon for seating to be on the ground, so a tight suit or dress that doesn't let you sit cross-legged might not be the best choice.

Of course, if you're the adventurous type and want to wear traditional Indian clothes, go for it! Very likely there'll be a friend or cousin your size who'd be delighted to loan you some clothes and show you how to wear them. Women guests may even get the chance for an application of henna or mehndi if they're around the day before the wedding. But don't rely on the bride or groom to help you themselves -- they'll be way too busy on the day of the event.

Q: My Hindu friends are getting married. What sort of gift should I give?

A: The traditional gift at an Indian wedding is money. The amount should be an "auspicious" number ending in 1 -- $11, $21, $51, $101, $201, $501, etc. (or similar numbers in rupees, pounds, or what have you). Cash or a check is fine.

However, outside of India most Indian couples understand that giving money is considered tacky and they don't expect it from their non-Indian friends. They've embraced the western tradition of giving housewares as gifts and many couples register at department stores. So the better answer is: give what you would give at a non-Hindu wedding.

I take hold of your hand for good fortune, so that with me, your husband, you may attain to old age. The gods, Bhaga, Aryaman, Savitur and Pushan gave you to me for leading the life of a householder. (Rig Veda X. 85.36)

A marriage blessing

Bounteous Indra, endow this bride with great sons and fortune. Give her ten sons and make the husband the eleventh. (Rig Veda X.85.46)

While Tying the Sacred Thread

O maiden of many auspicious qualities, I tie this sacred thread around your neck for my long life. May you live happily for a hundred years!

Hinduism and Marriage

According to Hinduism, a marriage between two persons is a sacred relationship that is not limited to this life alone. It extends across seven or more lives, during which the couple help each other progress spiritually. The adage that marriages are made in heaven is very much true in case of Hinduism. Two souls come together and marry because their karmas are intertwined and they have to resolve many things together upon earth in order to ensure their mutual salvation.

The relationship between a couple is essentially a relationship of the souls. It is not necessary that their gender roles are fixed for ever. Some times they may switch roles and the husband may become the wife and the wife the husband. Sometimes they may also temporarily part their ways and come together again after one or two lives in a grand reunion.

Marriage in Hinduism is a sacred relationship. Hindu marriage tradition recognizes seven different types of marriage, ranging from the popularly known arranged marriages to the extremely rare and forced marriages through abduction. Generally most of the marriages are arranged with the consent of the bride and the bridegroom and the blessings of the elders. Caste, family background, financial status of the groom, appearance and character of the bride and the bridegroom, the willingness of the parents are some important considerations in  arranged marriages. 

One of the important ceremonies associated with Hindu marriages is the handing over ceremony (bidai), which bears a lot of sentimental significance for the girl's family. During this ceremony the bride is handed over to the bridegroom and his parents by the brides parents, amidst a display of rare emotions, with a request to look after their daughter for the rest of her life. After this, the bride leaves her parents house permanently to spend the rest of her life in her husband's house.

Hindus accept registered marriages also as a part of the social changes that are sweeping across their society. But many would prefer a traditional marriage for the sake of the sentimental thrill that is associated with them.

A few simple and straight facts about Hindu marriages:

1. Hindus consider marriage as a sacred relationship, between two souls, not just two bodies.

2. Hindus believe that the marriage relationship extends beyond one life.

3. In the traditional marriage, the bride and the bridegroom are considered as divinities. The bride is first married to gods and then placed under the bridegroom's protection as a gift from gods.

One of the evils of Hindu marriages is the ubiquitous dowry system. The amount of dowry can be a very substantial amount, even in dollar terms, depending upon the financial status of the parties involved. Sometimes greedy mother-in-laws and husbands subject the poor brides to innumerable hardships for not meeting their expectations in respect of the dowry. Cases of bride burning are not unknown. Indian penal code prescribes severe punishment for such acts. But the cases take years and decades before the courts deliver justice.

In arranged marriages the marriage is consummated through elaborate ceremonies presided over by a Vedic priest well versed in Vedic mantras. The marriage date is fixed after consulting the astrological charts and then invitations are sent. Before the marriage date, both the parties spend a lot of time in preparation and exchange of gifts. On the marriage day, the bride and the bridegroom and relations on both sides assemble in a public auditorium or a temple premises and participate in an elaborate ceremony conducted by a priest. The marriage ceremony is generally a lengthy affair. A lot of vedic mantras are chanted during the ceremony, while a band plays on in the back ground. All the guests are entertained with food and beverages. Meat and alcohol are not generally served during such ceremonies, except in some communities.

5. Hindu marriage tradition recognizes the importance of a woman in the family. She is expected to share the responsibilities of the household like a goddess (grihalakshmi) and enjoy the love and care of her husband and children.

6. According to Hindu marriage Act 1955 passed in India, the eligible age for marriage is 21 years in case of a boy and 18 years in case of a girl. This law has been passed mainly to ban child marriages.